Hello again everyone. I missed you all. Good to be back here.
Update, sort of:
ENGF died. At last. I don't miss him at all. He was extremely abusive with me (well, tried to be) and especially my FOO (succeeded) for the past few years. NM has repeatedly exposed herself to his behavior, and tried to drag me into it as well "you are his only granddaughter, you must, you are related, etc etc", but I refused to play this game anymore. NM asked for my advice(!) once and was utterly shocked that I bluntly told her, that she should not accept his behavior and if I was her, I'd let him rot wherever he is with all his cruelty, which I actually did anyway. I had managed NM with at least one abusive relative, and I'm proud of it. Now he is gone and I have crossed out a name from my list of abusive relatives. Yay!
This also means that the last parental abuser of NM is no longer alive. She is still clearly terrified of GCU, but I don't give a damn. He is screaming nonsense at her and she lets him. What is more interesting is that she is now quite confused as of what to do with her life from now on. No one to get her daily abuse from, so now she is afraid and she has no idea what to do.
She is trying to hoover me in.
There were a few days when she seemed normal, and she lured me in. The next thing I know, she is screaming at me about illogical and insane things, and then explaining to me that I should have children even if I don't want to ("you owe it to the family", "you are not religious enough if you don't have children", "you are old already"), since she lives next door, so she will just take them from me and raise them. I was like what.the.hell.
We have talked about this with DB, and we came to the conclusion that if we ever decide to have children, our parents will have one, and only one shot. We will invite all of them to lunch, and tell them the rules. If they do as we say, it's great, if they don't, they have no more access to our children. I'm really happy that he has my back about this as well.
After that, a few years later, NM called me about some random shit involving her being tested as healthy again at the doctor's, and that she knows how anxious I always am about these tests, are you Scatha? And that I will have to send a card to one of my relatives to make her look good. Two days later, I meet EF, and he says: "please call NM, you should really call her sometimes, she claims that you two have not talked for a month, and I know that it is not true since you were at our place a week ago, but still". Oh.My.Goodness.They.Are.Crazy.
(this can be translated as: nothing new happened. lol.)
Still, it is scary how downright insane these people can get. Especially that I'm related to them. Geez.
(yes, as usual, I blacked out during NM screaming at me about my future children so I did not react to anything she said, and therefore I'm taking a long time off again before communicating with them again)
I will read what you all wrote, try to catch up. All in all, good to be back. :)