I am really proud of myself, because I have managed to go running despite the traumatic phone call with NM that followed my first. And I will go again today. Yay. I'm doing something good for myself without anyone knowing. Just because I want to take care of ME. No one ever told me this can be so awesome.
EF is trying to contact me, yesterday I got a very short info request about a website, which I replied, and some other 'fun' stuff that I did not.
Today I have received an email again. It was very brief, with one question. My translation will be a bit weird in English, but this is how I can best convey the subtle content. 'Maybe we can (phrased as is it possible, but also meaning are we allowed to, or can be interpreted as a very sarcastic and commanding demand, or scolding, depending on the vocal tone) see You Both in the weekend?'
My guess is: he has been appointed as the official Flying Monkey again, to lure me in. Either with kindness, 'strict parental force', or even by displaying suffering that could only end if I was willing to become a doormat and sacrifice myself.
I'm still debating myself what to answer.
What I would really wish to answer is: NO, YOU CAN NOT. We are busy. And after the way NM behaved during her last phone call, I wouldn't visit even if we had the time.
I have told DB that I would like to discuss our answer to this invite before I do anything.
I am really interested in your opinion. (besides installing an axe in their front door, or somewhere else).
Enjoy your run! Good for you! Good to present a united front. If the two of you are on the same page and communicating, the flying monkeys can't play you against each other. It made a huge difference when my sister and I started sharing information. We each had to make our own decisions, but it was helpful to bounce ideas off each other.
ReplyDeleteMy first thought is don't go. If that isn't an option, and sometimes it isn't, then you decide when and how long and stick by your decision. Even living in the same house as my NM and EF, I've learned to schedule when I see them and for how long.
My advice: Ignore the message!
ReplyDeleteHey Scatha,
ReplyDeleteI'm working on this too. The "Art of the Response", or in other words, how to respond to insane messages. My parents and my brother also send me cryptic emails like that. If you feel strong enough you could practice different responses and see what they come back with. At first all I could manage was to send "mirrored" replies to what they sent me. That kept them at bay for enough time to allow me to have a respite and build myself up a bit. Now I'm being able to be more direct about the things I want to say.
You could reply something vague like: "I'll let you know closer to the time. I'm not sure what we're doing yet."
Are the type that make you feel that you have to reply immediately to their communications?
Life's too short to spend it with people that stress you out. Options:
ReplyDelete1. Take Mulderfan's advice...ignore. If they question you on it later you can say sorry, didn't get your message,the email has been acting up and is unreliable.:-)
2. Respond but tell them you are too busy to visit. When they ask why, tell them you have a friend who needs your help or just say it is a private matter.
Don't ever feel you have to jump when they call. Take you time deciding on stuff and most of all take time and care for yourself.
I'm with mulderfan: DNR (Do NOT Respond).
ReplyDeleteKeep runnin' Scatha: Only day 2 and see how much good it's doing you.
Woman, you are just barreling through the FOG ;)
TW